Do you know what it's like to feel numb to your emotions?
Because that's precisely how I get by.

I refuse to let myself be overpowered by my emotions.
Because the closest that I get to feeling happy,
is to feel nothing at all and get by.

♥ ♥ ♥

hello : Thank you, and I hope so.

There's no comfort in the truth,
pain is all you'll find.

I think it's time for me to move on..
Clearly, you're not coming back.

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of.
And I wish to you, joy and happiness.
But above all this, I wish you love.

Just know that, I love you and have loved you
in the best way that I could have ever loved anyone.

I will always love you B.

I miss you so much today,
it's impossible not to cry :'(

Because the first thing I fell in love with was your voice.
It's so hard not hearing you; it's worse not having you.

it's hard when you miss someone, so much that it hurts.
and he doesn't think or miss you one bit.

and even though i keep wishing you'd call,
i know, you'll never call at all.








love hurts because i'm too stupid for you;
and i'm that stupid bitch that pays the price for loving you.

Everyone's been treating me like an ice princess these days.
It's like everyone assumes I'd pass out the moment they turn their backs.
I mean yeah, I've been feeling pretty sick but I'm one hella tough cookie :)

Gotta make my way to the doctor's for another review soon though.

Well, work was a toughie today. Kena left, right and center.
Still suffering from the aftermath right now; a snapping headache.

Nevertheless, haven't managed to keep my mind off shopping!
Was supposed to get myself a blackberry this month, but thinking
twice, I decided to wait for the arrival of the BBB9700! A long wait..

After all, I need to get distracted from all the emo thoughts.
We all know I'm pretty bad at handling my emotions right?
So we don't wanna go there. Think shopping!

But seriously ah, why on earth does my playlist consists of
90% emo songs?! And every song reminds me of him!
I keep pressing skip, until no more songs to listen to!

Nvm that, at work, I am forced to listen to a radio channel
that plays all the songs that never fails to remind me of him!
If I close my eyes, I can see him singing in gusto. -_-"

Wanna escape also cannot. At work, I think of him.
When I listen to songs, I think of him. I have to literally
slap myself every time I have the urge to text or press call.
Before I sleep, I think of him until I fall asleep and end up
waking up in shocks throughout the night, because I dreamt of him.

So unfair. In my next life, I also wanna be a guy.
Then I can be so heartless~ *cue music*

I'm hopeless.

So what I do? Work it off!
Pain is pleasure :)

Booyah!

Feeling terribly exhausted from the lack of sleep in the past week.
I think I've never pushed myself as hard as I am doing so now.
To think I drag myself back to work despite being on MC..

All the giddy spells and nausea hasn't gone away, while
colleagues are suspecting all sorts of things and diagnosing me :/

I mean, it is pointless to be at home "resting" when I've
constantly wide eyed, with too many things on my mind.
I might as well be putting myself to good use at work.

Still, it'd be an understatement if I said I didn't think of you.
In fact, you are constantly on my mind that its killing me.
It's not something that can be "deleted" and dealt with.
You can't expect to throw me like thrash and expect me to be okay.

Work's been a little wreck since I've been putting up such
a strong front, trying not to let my emotions get the best of me.
Avoided all possibilities of speaking to heated customers & colleagues
because I know very well that I will probably crack under pressure.

I've got alot on my mind right now and it's pretty difficult
to deal with, but what to do? Life's life. And it sure is unfair.
Seriously if you think that life couldn't get any worse, it gets worst.

I'm bruised and battered.
Nevertheless, I try very hard to keep my chin and smile, up.
Suck it in man. What else can't I take right?

Anyways, it's way past my bedtime. Done the necessary.
Time to hit the sacks, think of you one last time and knock out.

Here we go again!

jangan pisahkan, aku dan dia.
tuhan tolonglah, ku cinta dia.
biarkan kami, tetap bersama.
di dalam, suka dan duka.

PS. Will update soon. Promise :)